A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

What do men fear most? What do women fear most? — some findings from Kenya

Recently a newspaper in Kenya (The Standard on Sunday, ‘Kenya’s Bold Newspaper’) featured a survey that they had commissioned on cheating spouses. Interestingly the article has substantial input from a local pastor, reflecting the central role of the Church in Kenyan life.

One question was “What is your biggest fear in your marriage?”

The top three answers for men were:

1) Not being able to provide for your family
2) Outsiders knowing about your struggles
3) Infidelity on the part of your wife.

 The women’s biggest fears were:

1) Being cheated on
2) Being infected with a chronic disease
3) Domestic violence.

Peter Grant, the director of Restored, an umbrella group  for Christians worldwide who are working to reduce male violence against women, reflects on these findings (link):

My reflection is that the top two fears for men relate to their own identity, self-esteem and reputation. All three answers for women relate to negative things that their husbands can do to them.
It is a challenge in a society where so many people are professing Christians for discipleship to be deep enough to make a difference where it really counts in personal relationships and integrity.


  1. Brenda R

    I’m not sure the answers would be any different in any other part of the world.

    • that’s exactly what I was thinking.

      • Brenda R

        2 great minds with a single thought. lol

  2. I agree!

  3. Happy2bhere

    Interesting, but not surprising. I agree with Brenda, probably not much different anywhere else. I really feel for others in this situation who live in absolute poverty and their country doesnt have the resources some other places have. Sad, but after being abused, infidelity is no longer one of my fears.

    • Brenda R

      Infidelity, go for it, take the abuse with you while you’re at it. Only thing is I wouldn’t want that for the other woman either.

  4. Finding Answers

    The answers seem to reflect abuse in general…

    The men’s answers: Public image.

    The women’s answers: In secrecy / behind closed doors.

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