What do men fear most? What do women fear most? — some findings from Kenya
Recently a newspaper in Kenya (The Standard on Sunday, ‘Kenya’s Bold Newspaper’) featured a survey that they had commissioned on cheating spouses. Interestingly the article has substantial input from a local pastor, reflecting the central role of the Church in Kenyan life.
One question was “What is your biggest fear in your marriage?”
The top three answers for men were:
1) Not being able to provide for your family
2) Outsiders knowing about your struggles
3) Infidelity on the part of your wife.
The women’s biggest fears were:
1) Being cheated on
2) Being infected with a chronic disease
3) Domestic violence.
My reflection is that the top two fears for men relate to their own identity, self-esteem and reputation. All three answers for women relate to negative things that their husbands can do to them.
It is a challenge in a society where so many people are professing Christians for discipleship to be deep enough to make a difference where it really counts in personal relationships and integrity.