Why Couple Counseling is not recommended for domestic abuse
Twelve Reasons Why Couple’s Counsel is not Recommended when Domestic Violence is Present is an article (pdf) from the ARMS website. We think our readers might like it as a resource. Giving the article to pastors and counselors may help them understand why couple’s counseling (and I would add marriage intensives) is not advisable in marriages where there are allegations of abuse (and remember, abuse does not have to contain any acts of physical violence to merit the term ‘abuse’).
I (Barb) have run the article past a very good Christian counselor I know in Australia (Mike Skewes), and here is his response:
I have read that article and agree it is a very definitive list of reasons why couple’s counseling is not helpful for the victim. I believe that 100% of violence is the perpetrators responsibility; I also agree that the violence needs to stop before relationships counseling can begin, or continue. I would actually go further and suggest that the behavior not only needs to stop but that the perpetrator must become aware of his/her triggers and have brought about significant change.