You Are Lovable
To the child of God who feels unlovable,
Have you been told in word or deed that you are not lovable? It’s easy to believe when the one who has seen you more intimately than anyone other than God, warts and all, tells you that you are not. This is one of the primary reasons divorce (without cause) is so grotesque: it is seeing and knowing and rejecting another person at the core. I believe abuse from a spouse strikes deep for the same reason. Abuse says that the victim is not lovable.
But it is a lie, and a treacherous lie at that.
YOU ARE LOVABLE.
Believe me, beloved, you ARE. I promise; there is no doubt. God knit you together in the womb and he cares for you deeply. You are his child and he loves you as a father should, only better and more true.
And what’s more, he desires that other people know and love you too. The love for one another is the highest command of scripture next to the love of God, and Paul says it is the summation of the entire law. Sometimes the brokenness of this world holds that love back from us, but that is not a statement on our appeal or a true view of how others should love us. I’m not talking about entitlement or something you demand – I’m saying that you are attractive the way God created you and he desires to show this through both his presence and through other people.
If you have suffered abuse, your abuser was a liar and a tool of the Enemy. He deceived you; and if you are like me, you believed it. There is no shame in that. We are supposed to be able to trust our marriage partners not to deceive us in this way. We are not weak for being deceived – we are betrayed.
But there is life in Christ – Christ who knows us all intimately and has chosen to redeem us, warts and all. He has done what no husband or wife will ever do. Perfect knowledge and perfect acceptance.
You are lovable, even when you do not know it, feel it, or believe it. But you WILL know it, because your abuser will not have the last word on this.