When a person realizes “I’m being abused in this marriage”, what do they do then?
Should you leave? Should you stay? If you are going to leave, how do you go about it? What are the tips for young players?
Ok, so it’s Abuse. What Now? is a site that answers these questions. It’s written by a non-Christian survivor, but we trust our readers to be discerning; where it mentions “karma” just replace this with the biblical concept of reaping what you sow.
Also bear in mind that the author at that link is an Australian, so some of what she says may be more relevant to Australians than to people from other countries (for example, legal info and links).
If any readers here want to add their own “tips for young players” on how to get out of abusive relationships, please go ahead.
I’m not asking you to tell your long stories of escaping and building a new life here, just try to think of tips you could pass on to those who are still living in abuse but are thinking of leaving. Gems. Pointers. Key reminders. That kind of thing. I suggest you read the link above, and then if you have anything to add, put it in a comment on this post.
I’m adding Ok, so it’s Abuse. What Now? to the Resources page as well, so it will always be easy to find.
[April 4, 2023: Editors’ notes:
—For some comments made prior to April 4, 2023 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to April 4, 2023 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to April 4, 2023 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (April 4, 2023), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]
A Cry For Justice 
I think that “trust your instincts” is one of the best things. I personally knew that my relationship could be classified as abusive for probably 2 years prior to deciding to leave. But for all that time, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, change things, and denied my own reality. I listened to him tell me that it could be worse and that it wasn’t that bad because he didn’t hit me.
Of course, I didn’t know HOW to trust my instincts, since so much of my ability to do things for myself had been eroded.
So glad I’ve found some resources and I’m working on building friendships. I’m really amazed at how I’ve finally found some women who understand — and then instantly became the friends I haven’t had all these years.
Exactly my sentiments! I came to comment, but you’ve put the words in my mouth.
One other thing — strengthen your God-given gut by not listening to irrational voices, whether they be from him, religious systems or ignorant friends. If it is not the truth, it is not of God.