A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

An Example of the Gracious Providence of the Lord – by Morven Baker

I (Jeff) am putting this comment by Morven Baker into its own post so we all see it.  I just want to say that the Lord is to be praised on account of His obvious providential working here.  We just finished posting the blog posts on Voddie Baucham’s permanence view divorce sermon,  and here is what Morven reports.  This kind of thing makes everything worthwhile!!

(Morven’s words begin here):

“Well, I listened to the whole thing, imagining myself as a battered wife sitting in the pew, listening to the person who is supposed to represent God to me, desperate, hurting. Listening as the mother of a young girl who has been molested by her father, my husband, who is a “Christian” and who is sitting next to me in the pew. Listening as a woman who knows her husband has been unfaithful, again. I wanted to throw up. This man is preaching as if his words are Jesus’ words. Who does he think he is? No exceptions …. marriage is forever, no matter what???

An amazing thing happened today, another indication of how God’s timing is perfect (as in these blogs!). A client came in to see me who had just attended the “only women” Divorce Care this past week. Up until now she has loved the support and education of this ministry. Then came the video of, guess who, preaching that “initiating divorce is never lawful”, and that there can be “NO divorce no matter what”. She was traumatized by this, and by the time she got to my office, she was angry. She is heading back this week to speak her mind. I promptly made a lunch date with the gal who is leading the Divorce Care group locally, who I know by reputation to be a wonderful person. She apparently said, after the film, that “they” (I guess meaning her church) believe that you can divorce for adultery or abuse. If this is the case, why on earth would they show this video?

Please pray for me as I approach her, asking her and her church to consider eliminating this portion of the video series.”

4 Comments

  1. joepote01

    Praying with you, Morven, that God will give you a special annointing as you speak with the leaders of this group. Praying that God will use your words to open their eyes, and bring freedom from bondage.

  2. Morven– I love the way you take initiative and take on these giants head-on. Will be praying 🙂

  3. Pippa

    Prayers for you and with you; clarity and wisdom for you and your acquaintance, the leader; may He give you the words to say and to her, the ears to hear.
    I had no idea about Divorce Care. I have had at least one person try to get me into it and I’m afraid that I recommended it to someone without full knowledge of it. Pray there’s no damage done.

  4. Finding Answers

    Quoting Morven:

    Well, I listened to the whole thing, imagining myself as a battered wife sitting in the pew, listening to the person who is supposed to represent God to me, desperate, hurting. Listening as the mother of a young girl who has been molested by her father, my husband, who is a “Christian” and who is sitting next to me in the pew. Listening as a woman who knows her husband has been unfaithful, again. I wanted to throw up. This man is preaching as if his words are Jesus’ words. Who does he think he is? No exceptions …. marriage is forever, no matter what???

    I know Morven’s meeting is long past…I hope it led to the desired outcome. 🙂

    Videos / podcasts are everywhere. Instructional. Informational. Sermons.

    They do serve a purpose. I know they do.

    I am one of those people who prefer to read something first, then evaluate whether or not to pursue other options.

    Part of it has to do with the way I process incoming information. Part of it has to do with the difficulty of taking notes and not losing focus on the speaker / visuals. Part of it has to do with proceeding at my own pace.

    Reading is also a solitary pursuit. No interruptions. The freedom to talk back to the reading material with no repercussions. No ridicule.

    Now, I wonder if a part was played by a tendency to dissociate during painful episodes.

    (Um, fog descending…airbrushing as I write.)

    Two years ago, I completely re-integrated, though not all the memories became immediately conscious. No, this was not from dissociative identity disorder or dissociative fugue, but from dissociative amnesia.

    The memory fragments were specific emotions. Physical pain. Specific coping skills. (They were almost like “alters”, but lacked the cohesion of an entirely separate personality.

    In completing the re-integration process, the Holy Spirit led me to donate some books, to throw out others. Actually throwing out well-liked books – rather than giving them away – is difficult. Not only could others enjoy them, but it seemed so wasteful of resources. I (almost) never even wrote in books, let alone dog-eared the pages. (I was shocked the first time I saw people writing in their Bible… 🙂 )

    Books were my friends. (And I was to find out just how apt the concept.)

    I had collected these books over the course of many years.

    A conservative estimate would be into the thousands of dollars. The number is not presented from pride or arrogance, but to suggest my investment in my “paper-friends”.

    In getting rid of the books, I felt I was losing my “friends”. And in a way, I was…

    The Holy Spirit led me to understand these particular books had characters I related to so well because the characters had traits linked to my memory fragments. (I remember describing a book character to someone and unthinkingly saying, “I wish you could have met her…”.)

    Which leads me back to my earlier comment on preferring to read, then watch / listen.

    Reading allows greater choice. Has fewer repercussions. Allows for evaluating in a safer environment.

    Allows for choosing who I want to be my “friends”.

    While I no longer dissociate, even when triggered, I am also very careful what enters through my eyes and ears. I may lose significant sources of information, but my safety has to come first.

    I cannot begin to imagine imagine what Morven’s client experienced in the Divorce Care group while watching Voddie’s video.

    And I am so grateful to Barbara, TWBTC, and past editors for providing trigger warnings.

    Thank God for His care of me.

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