“When Love Hurts” – You need to Get This DVD
[October 10, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.]
NOTE: Subsequent to posting this post, one of our readers watched this DVD series and sent the following comment, which I think is right on. I had missed it completely and so I really appreciate this insight. The comment shows a definite deficiency in the series —
Well, I just got done watching the RBC videos on the Mending the Soul site. They did a good job on the issue of abuse, per se, and on the issue of what male authority is about. But I found them frustrating because they did not give any examples of the abused woman initiating the divorce. In all the cases they cited, the abuser was the one who refused reconciliation. I do not feel they did an adequate job of giving the woman permission and support in pursuing divorce. I don’t think they will address the need we have here. Honestly, I found their treatment of that matter mushy. I’m not sure from those videos what they actually believe about that. It’s like they discussed everything BUT that.
When Love Hurts: Understanding And Healing Domestic Abuse is available either on Amazon or at the Mending the Soul Ministries store (see the menu item at the top of this blog page). This is an excellent series of four, 27-minute segments — the segments are titled:
- Part 1: When Abuse Is Worse Than Divorce
- Part 2: When Submission Is Used To Abuse
- Part 3: When Apologies Are Dangerous
- Part 4: When The Church Is Needed Most
The series is a production of Day of Discovery, an arm of Radio Bible Class Ministries, Grand Rapids, MI. And this was amazing to me. I can remember as a kid listening to Dr. DeHann with his gravelly voice every Sunday morning on the radio. This is a conservative, Bible-believing Christian ministry, and so I initially purchased the DVD with skepticism, which was only overcome because Steven Tracy’s website (Mending the Soul) sells and recommends it.
I just spent the last two hours watching the entire DVD, and it is excellent. Christians tell their stories of abuse, how the church in a few cases helped them, and how in many cases it did not. The tactics of abuse are described, real repentance is examined vs. false “I’m sorry’s” and a challenge to the church is issued to step up, get educated, and start advocating justice for victims.
All of us won’t agree with every single detail presented — you might think, “I would have said this,” or “I would have worded that sentence a bit differently,” but I really saw very little I would change. Just two things actually —
- If they had read Barbara Roberts’ book, Not Under Bondage [*Affiliate link], they could have done a bit better job clarifying Malachi 2:16.
- Also, I would have selected a different title for the first section. They have it as, When Abuse Is Worse Than Divorce. But that implies that divorce is still bad – doesn’t it? I don’t think that is what they intended to convey, but…. Maybe, When Divorce is a Good Thing.
But those points aside, this is a tremendous tool that you can watch and that you can take to your church and show it in Sunday School class. Great stuff. Ok, so now go buy it! (I didn’t use the word “should,” so my bossiness is ok?). You will be very glad that you did.
[October 10, 2022: Editors’ notes:
—For some comments made prior to October 10, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to October 10, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to October 10, 2022 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (October 10, 2022), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]