There are three kinds of forgiveness, but most Christians do not understand how to differentiate between them.
To help remedy this, I have significantly updated my Three Kinds of Forgiveness post.
The three kinds of forgiveness are:
- renunciation of vengeance,
- relational reconciliation,
- Divine judicial forgiveness.
Christians chronically conflate the three kinds of forgiveness, which causes much harm and confusion to victims of abuse.
Go here to read the updated post Three Kinds Of Forgiveness
In updating the post I have added more material, rewritten some parts to make it easier to comprehend, and put in more headings so that the main points and logical flow of my arguments are clearer.
The take home messages of the updated post are:
- Christians would do well to stop conflating the three kinds of forgiveness.
- Survivors of abuse are not being unforgiving by not reconciling with their abusers, because most people who abuse their own spouses (and their children) and the vast majority of predators (whatever their preferred style of abuse) do NOT truly repent.
- Christians would do well to stop thinking that because the process of psychological forgiveness (emotional healing and recovering and identity reshaping) is ongoing, that means the victim must be lectured and browbeaten till they ‘forgive’ their abuser.
- Forgiveness in its truest and purest form is only between true, faith-possessing Christians and God. It is not for the person who masquerades as a Christian in order to predate on others. It is not for the predators who have seared their consciences. It is not for those who refuse to be decontaminated by God. It is not for those who love and make lies, and who think they can hide from God by maintaining their lies.
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Barb,
A brief comment before I write my comment on your post. 😊 I’ve not commented on this in quite a while….WordPress has made a number of changes to how the user submits a comment. 😊
I’ve had to go from hard-coding my comment (using html) to get the appearance I want, to at least one variation of a much more user-friendly-to-the-average-user version, and now it appears I have to go back to hard-coding my comment to get the appearance I want (omitting all details, including tech-type, nerd-type details). 😊
As well, for the moment anyway, WordPress no longer seems to recognize — and change — the standard :-) emoticon (colon hyphen close parenthesis equals a smiling emoji) to a smiling emoji. Instead — and I’ve been doing this for a while — I’ve been adding an actual “character” emoji (one than can sometimes be found when you right-click your mouse).
You wrote:
Thank you for letting us know you’ve updated your post on the Three Kinds of Forgiveness. 😊 I’ve read it, and it’s definitely worth reading (and reading more than once).😊
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Dear Barbara Roberts,
Thank you for updating and reminding of this wonderful post. Food for thought, also in the comments.
Interestingly, in the old testament, God forgives yet there are consequences or punishment. Think of the golden calf:
Moses wants to give up his name in the book of life, but no, everyone dies for their own sin. God says He forgives, yet punishes.
Same for the quail story and for others.
Personally, I would feel the punishment of my abusers, close relatives or spouse, as if it happened to myself, so that is no option. Yet the validation, public acknowledgement, social message of God’s righteousness would be important. That, and the correction of their lies.
What an important topic, you do a good job of differentiating these things.
Thank you,
May He bless you and all real followers of your blog.
[Some minor formatting done to enhance readability. Editors.]
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