After a break of eleven months, I’m considering returning to writing at this blog.
I am no longer burned out. The burnout lifted in December 2022, but I’ve still got to be careful with what I do with my time and how much nervous energy I expend. I am easily triggered, so I can’t predict how things will go.
I am making no promises, but I hope to be changing the appearance of the blog and making adjustments to existing content at this site. Streamline navigation. Simplify the side-bar. Stuff like that.
During the eleven months I was not writing posts, I was still reading and replying to comments, although I was very slow.
My assistant, Reaching Out, did the lion’s share of comment moderation. God bless her!
That’s all for now.
A Cry For Justice 
Wonderful!! 🤗🙏🏻👏🏻💕
You’ve been in my thoughts and prayers….
HALLELUJAH. Was just thinking about you yesterday, Barbara, and the wonderful insight you gave into the Levite and his concubine. I’m so happy you’re feeling better and glad you’re monitoring your energy. So grateful you’re writing again.
Where can I read about the Levite? Please share a link.
Hi Priestlyscribe,
The Levite’s Concubine — a case study in domestic abuse and how abusers enlist allies is a post and video that Barb did on The Levite’s Concubine. You can also find Barb’s video of The Levite’s Concubine on the sidebar of the blog.
Dear Barb,
The title of original post:
Leaningonhope wrote (18TH APRIL 2023 – 8:29 AM):
That.
Auriel wrote (18TH APRIL 2023 – 9:17 AM):
(The words in the brackets were added by me. The bold was done be me.)
That.
Please take care of yourself, Barb. I really don’t want you to risk your health. If that means you write only rarely, or you don’t write at all, I can accept (and am content with) that. Your health, life, and happiness are far more valuable to me (and hopefully to many others) than whether or not there any new posts on the blog.
From the original post:
And triggers are so unpredictable…. 😢
From the original post:
I noticed you’ve already lightened the colours of the blog….I really like the change, as it makes everything so much easier to read. I didn’t have any difficulty reading the blog, but I’ve always been concerned about other readers (and their ability to read the blog). I know there were some past ACFJ readers who had different kinds of vision issues.
That.
Stay safe and be well, Barb. 🙂
I am so glad you took the needed break. Satan and his demons were doing a number on you because you were helping people like me understand that the abuse I was agreeing to live with wasn’t acceptable. Satan wants marriages destroyed and people’s confidence shattered. I am on a new, healing path and you were part of the start of my journey. Thank you.
Barb – thanks for the update! I second all the comments made here. I look forward to reading your posts when and if you choose to return to writing, but no pressure, your health & well-being are the most important thing. 🙂
Sister,
(18TH APRIL 2023 – 8:31 PM),
I was so happy when I saw your name again! 🙂
And my apologies to you, Leaningonhope (18TH APRIL 2023 – 8:29 AM) and Auriel (18TH APRIL 2023 – 9:17 AM), for not saying sooner that I was so happy ( 🙂 ) to see your names again too!
And, Barb (18TH APRIL 2023 – 10:48 AM, not Barbara Roberts, who I was addressing in my earlier comment, 18TH APRIL 2023 – 10:31 AM) — I was so happy to see your name as well, and that you are on a new healing path! 🙂
And I hope you, Priestlyscribe (18TH APRIL 2023 – 2:51 PM), saw Reaching Out’s reply that included the link to Barb’s The Levite’s Concubine and gain as much insight as Auriel and I did. 🙂
It makes me smile (and my heart warm) to see these names (and imagine their faces, their lives) again, too. 🤗💕
Thank you, Sister. Glad to be on this journey with you all. Xx
Wonderful news at all levels! Your health first, your literary contributions to the world, your wisdom, insight and voice has and continues to matter a great deal in this field. Although now here in America we are starting to see more (spiritual platforms) discussing abuse, you are a pioneer in this field. You had the courage and insight to address this matter years ago, when there were very few voices (if any) doing so in the Christian world.
The body of work and resources you have comprised is academic literature, for generations to come.
Thank you so much for practicing self-care because you have always been on the front lines my friend….
Looking forward to your writings.
God bless you!
Thank you, Barb, for many, many words of insight and Godly and appropriate outrage and advocacy. I did read and contribute here years ago. I’ve checked back now and then.
Back then….I was working through the realization and results of childhood abuse. I experienced just how much the church doesn’t “get it”.
I started new in 2016, in a new location. I left a church and friends.
Now I find myself in the next challenge. Divorce. The signs were there for decades. The words “projection”, “deflection”, “stonewalling”, “gaslighting”, “dehumanizing” and “passive-aggression” were not in my vocabulary. Unfortunately blind. Never “good enough”. Never “enough”. And fully indoctrinated that “loving my wife as Christ loved the church” meant I’m the sacrifice. “Trapped until death.”
Still working through this.
Thanks again.
[Paragraph breaks added to enhance readability. Editors.]
Hi, Randy, I’m sorry that you have had to suffer through these added levels of trauma and recovery. May God help you in your ongoing journey.
Dr George Simon Jr, a forensic psychologist, argues that abusers don’t use projection, they use false accusation. Projection: A misused and misapplied term
You mentioned “passive aggression”. That is a much misunderstood and misused term. Please check out these posts:
Overt and covert aggression
Covert aggression is not the same as passive aggression
I’m guessing you are already aware of our tag for male survivors of domestic abuse, but if not, here it is: Male Survivors.
Do what you need to do, at whatever pace suits you. The problem that you so indefatigably tackled hasn’t gone away, not for lack of effort and prayers of faithful warriors everywhere, yourself a foremost example of that. But thank God victims / survivors are finding the light and more willing than ever to challenge their leaders and church communities for enabling abuse under their very noses. The Spirit continues His work of healing and deliverance, gently and powerfully, and for that, we can be in awe and gratitude.
It’s great to read any words from you. My reading time is squeezed a bit hard but I didn’t want to delay reading this any longer. Anything you write will be wanted and welcomed! But the best news you shared is that the burn out has lifted; you are most important not from what you do (although that is huge), but who you are: as an image bearer of the Lord.
I know what you mean in my own personal ways, when you talked about needing to be careful, being easily triggered, taking it as it comes and making no promises. I could not agree with you more, I can’t imagine that anyone and everyone will be nothing but supportive and prayerful as you move forward.
When my mind feels “frozen” from being on overload, and overwhelmed with struggles — the words to pray to Him may not come easy, if at all, but thankfully He always hears my heart. I remember thinking that at times when praying for you, but IMO it’s so important for those who are struggling to remember others who are struggling in their prayers. We may not be in the exact same boat, but we are dealing with similar-type storms.
Helovesme,
I was so happy when I saw your comment! 😊 😊 😊
You wrote (about Barb):
That.
Am sorry for this late reply! I wanted to say that it was also good to see you as well! I had a little trouble posting my initial comment so I had a chance to scroll through the comments, and saw yours! It is again good to see a short but significant connection with some of the frequent commentators on this page!
I’m happy you’re back – do take care of your mental health, though! I’ve been reading your blog occasionally since 2016, and it’s done me a great deal of good, I believe. I became a Christian in 2015, but immediately was alarmed at how “church culture” favours abusive husbands over the battered wife. As someone who struggles with what the Bible really teaches about women, it is blogs like yours — plus watching plenty of documentaries about abused Afghan women — that reminds me, it is NOT good for women to be mistreated by men. God does not want one-half of the human race to be beaten, raped, and treated like garbage.