[November 6, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.]
Scripture has more to say about abusers than we often realize. Barbara compiled sSriptures that show that abusers tend to return to their abuse. These Scriptures and more can be found on our Scriptures Describing Abuse page.
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But when Pharaoh saw that the rain and the hail and the thunder had ceased, he sinned yet again and hardened his heart, he and his servants. (Exodus 9:34 [ESV])
But when Pharaoh saw that there was a respite, he hardened his heart and would not listen to them, as the Lord had said. (Exodus 8:15 [ESV])
But the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he did not let the people of Israel go. (Exodus 10:20 [ESV])
A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again. (Proverbs 19:19 [ESV])
Crush a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, yet his folly will not depart from him. (Proverbs 27:22 [ESV])
Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly. (Proverbs 26:11,12,16)
Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 26:12 [ESV])
The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly. (Proverbs 26:16 [ESV])
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. (Proverbs 25:28 [ESV])
A worthless witness mocks at justice, and the mouth of the wicked devours iniquity. (Proverbs 19:28 [ESV])
And this is the judgment; the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. (John 3:19-20 [ESV])
Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. (2 Timothy 3:8 [ESV])
[November 6, 2022: Editors’ notes:
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If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to November 6, 2022 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (November 6, 2022), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]
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A Cry For Justice 
What does it mean to be —
—as it pertains to abuse?
I think this part of the letter is talking about people Timothy will run into, and Paul is contrasting them from the characteristics he said Timothy should exhibit in chapter 2. So, perhaps “disqualified” is in regards to leadership — these men should never become leaders.
I think it is interesting that a common theme among those people is that they don’t understand the working of the Holy Spirit. The typical Elder in my old denomination felt that faithfully following the law and order of the church was essentially a guarantee that the right thing was done and people would change. Many of these “hold to a form of Godliness, but deny its power” [Paraphrase of 2 Timothy 3:5.]. Instead of leaving the work of changing hearts to the Holy Spirit, they believe it’s their responsibility to ramp up pressure and fear of punishment through the church courts.
Specifically, in regards to abuse, I think it’s fascinating:
I think Paul is talking about grooming here. These women, although I believe the same for men, feel shame and guilt for their sins, instead of the freedom that should come with forgiveness. Abusers, then, use that guilt and shame to confuse and manipulate their targets. In the same way, the churches I grew up in emphasized our negatives as humans, and I believe that has been essentially church-wide grooming.
Wow, MarkQ. What you said is so true. In fact, I was trapped in that very mentality for years. Only after leaving my marriage of almost 30 years have I learned to live by the empowering grace of the Holy Spirit. I am so sad I was caught up in the law of living self-righteously, and being bullied by my h the way you described above, especially when I left him. My home was not filled with grace and forgiveness. We did not know what that looked like. There was always tension, anger, fighting, fear, shame. I wish I had known better. I did and do have faith in Christ, but I was constantly trying to make myself be better, morph myself into some awesome Christian woman, be who I thought my husband wanted me to be. And keep up appearances. That was another hard job. UGH! My heart is now like clay in the potter’s hands. May He change it and shape it whichever way He wants.
To become “disqualified from the faith” means….in my humble opinion….that God has REJECTED such people because they are actually reprobates (just like an silversmith will reject false silver once it has PROVEN that the “silver” is actually “dross”).
A reprobate is someone who “pretends” to be a “Christian” (i.e. has a form of / formula for “godliness”) BUT they do NOT allow the “power” of God to actually change them (i.e. they “deny” God using His own power of change them from within).
Jeremiah 6:30 / Romans 1:28 / 2 Corinthians 13:5-8 / Titus 1:16
APG – you are correct in your statement here, but I would tweak it just a bit in regard to the definition of a reprobate. Specifically, a reprobate may or may not pretend to be a Christian. That is to say, a reprobate is a person who has so often received God’s truth, even powerfully with the conviction of the Spirit, and rejected that truth that God — as you say — rejects them once and for all. An apostate is a person who at one time professed Christ, but then returned to their wicked life, demonstrating that their faith was false in the first place.
Hebrews chapter 6 is a classic passage on the apostate. And regarding the reprobate I would look at Romans 1, 2 Peter, and Jude.
Thanks much for your input.
UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.
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Thanks, Jeff, that is a helpful clarification for me too.
Hardened, cold, selfish, cynical, cruel and they justify themselves: very destructive people.
Quoted from the post:
(Brackets done in the original quote.)
Simplifying, perhaps overmuch….
There are those who prefer the dark and will do anything to stay in the shadows.
There are those who continue to reach for the light, pursuing the Word to avoid the shadows.