Here is a “Grateful Bride” Who Sorely Needs to Humble Herself and Stop Hurting Abuse Victims
The following comment was received at our blog recently, but was not published because, as you will see, it is incredibly hurtful and damaging to victims of abuse and others as well. But we post it here to expose a very typical preachy arrogance that is so common and is doing so much damage to victims and enabling their abusers. GratefulBride, I hope you learn from this and put your hand over your mouth as you hear from one Christian lady who has survived years of terrible abuse that apparently doesn’t exist in your fantasyland world.
First, here is the comment from GratefulBride and then we will post the reaction from IAmMyBeloveds, a good friend and survivor of longtime abuse at the hands of abusers both in marriage and in the “church” –
I actually agree with Ephesians 5 totally and the literal translation which is husbands love your wives and wives be submissive. Women….choose a good leader as a husband! It won’t ever make for a perfect situation but it will make obeying God in this area a lot easier. Parents….raise sons as good leaders! We have feminized this culture and where has it gotten us? It’s lead to a culture of everyone thinking with their emotions! A complete mess! My husband isn’t perfect and sometimes it’s hard to be submissive but I married a man who loves God with all his heart. He seeks his counsel daily and has lead our family well. He takes responsibility for the right and wrong decisions. Ultimately I serve and obey God! There is not a situation that excuses that.
Alright. Now let’s hear from IAmMyBeloveds as she responds to this notion that “well, you know ladies, if you had just chosen better in who you married, like I did, your life would be wonderful.” Understandably, IAmMyBeloveds response is fired up and appropriately so.
Well, good for you!! But why would you write a comment like that to a group of suffering people who are NOT married to men who seek God, but are wolves? Your comment shows a real lack of compassion and mercy toward the oppressed — a mark of certain ungodliness and sin, and you have nothing to compare yourself to on this blog. So be it. Do not comment again, unless you have something to share that will help the weak, poor and oppressed, instead of wickedness that only adds to their oppression.
You represent exactly the kind of people abuse victims encounter, people who, in their own self-righteousness and blatant ignorance and disregard for the lives of these women and children, continue to applaud Satan’s work in the lives of these women and children. When your husband throws you down the stairs, beats the hell out of you, abuses your kids, tries to commit you, gets you excommunicated, emotionally abuses you until you have a breakdown, etc., etc., then you will have a reason to come to this blog. Until then, we wish you would take your sharing how well your life is going for you and not writing here again. Ephesians 5 gives no place for men to abuse their wives and for you to slander Christ in this way, is absurd and sinful. May He forgive you for doing so.
Having an imperfect husband who seeks God, is not the same as having a husband who is being incited by Satan — but thinks it’s God — to abuse his family. And you comparing the two and saying they are the same thing is ludicrous!
Now, GratefulBride, do you get it? Do you see? Your response to this may well be, “Oh no, I didn’t mean…” but in fact you did mean it. You walked in arrogance and came here to preach down to the hurting and oppressed who you see as lower than you, not as wise as you, rather foolish in fact for allowing themselves to get sucked into marriage to an evil spouse. The reality is that you are deceived yourself. You do not see evil. You are not learned in the evil one’s tactics. And yet you expound.
Go. Go and learn what this means –
I desire mercy, and not sacrifice. (Mathew 9:13b)