If a pastor expects you to accept his words based solely on his position, he is operating under false authority. The following Gem from our Gems page is an excerpt from Johnson and VanVonderen’s book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, [Affiliate link] p115
Is it possible for one person, or one group of leaders, to comprehend all that’s in God’s Word? Not likely. God’s living Word is demonstrated through all who are seeking Him, regardless of “rank.” In some areas of life, many areas perhaps, those in the pews will have more real authority from having tested and lived out God’s Word in situations God will never choose to lead the pastor through [i.e. abuse]. If He is the Shepherd of the flock, then I as a pastor must listen to what He is saying through the flock, remembering that I too am a follower of Him. [Emphasis original.]
[June 11, 2023: Editors’ notes:
—For some comments made prior to June 11, 2023 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to June 11, 2023 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to June 11, 2023 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (June 11, 2023), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]
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I approached my Pastor to receive marital counseling. After giving him a brief description of of how my husband was hurting us, he asked, “how far are you willing to go to endure this hardship, knowing that through your prayers he can be saved.” I paused to digest what he was proposing. My answer was that if it got to the point of abuse, I would no longer tolerate it. But in the back of my mind, I remembered the last nervous breakdown a few days before, and knew that I was being abused emotionally. Although I respect the Pastor, I knew he was trying to guide me according to his wisdom, because he himself has anger issues with the church in general and has publicly become explosive in front of a whole congregation to correct sin. Knowing better, I chose not to continue counseling. Somehow the Lord showed me this blog and it is here where the Holy Spirit has been showing clarity, support, education and healing.
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I’m glad you’re here, Joy.
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Agree, this blog brings out clarity and opens up our mind. Or else we would just be confused all our lives as to whether “we are going wrong somewhere?” This blog certainly provides flag indicators which helps us to realise that the victim must not subject herself to be abused by her husband and avoid nervous breakdown.
GRACE.
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Hi, LM! Welcome to the blog. :) Very nice to have you here.
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Good word.
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I just sent this to my pastor. He said in sermon this past Sunday that people in general hold their pastors to too high of a standard, they [the pastor] are like everyone else. If they are, then they should be willing to listen to those of us who have been through experiences that they have not.
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