A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Thursday Thought — Even a good day with an abuser is bad

Today’s gem from the GEMS page…

“Even a good day living with an abuser is a bad day.”

[ACFJ reader on realizing that when
her abuser is wonderfully charming,
it is all still part of the cycle of abuse]


  1. Brenda R

    So true. Now, every day living without the abuser is a good day!

    • Jesus' Beloved

      This is very, very true!!! I’ve never been happier since I left.

  2. Jesus' Beloved

    A good day with an abuser is nothing more than them faking that they love you and care about you so that you will forget all the cruel things they just did to you the week before, and you will stay. Or, a “good” day usually comes right after they have just abused you. As if nothing happened and everything is great.

  3. Isaiah40:31

    This is so true! And I remember, on the not-so-bad-days, dreading what was to come. I knew if today wasn’t so bad, then tomorrow or the next day would likely be horrible. Like Lorene said, once you recognize the cycle, you now realize that the good he is faking today is effort to erase the evil he displayed yesterday.

    Love what Brenda said!

  4. downtheroad

    There are no “good days” with an Abuser, just slightly less Bad days,when he tires of the game and lets some peace into our lives we know its just temporary, the “game” will start again, what annoyed him yesterday will not today, he will get back to changing the goal posts, to keep us always un-settled! its a shock to finally realise he enjoys the game,enjoys hurting and abusing us….the man who is supposed to love us is enjoying our pain, the man who is supposed to protect us is dangerous….it takes a while to sink in, to us who live in the “normal” world where those who love us NEVER cause us pain… One day we are free, we can live in Peace, the children are free to be themselves not always worried that they will cause an argument, two weeks after I made him leave there was noise in my house!…a new thing… i thought “what’s the matter with these kids” arguing, falling out,playing freely… it made me cry for the lost time, and every noise and argument made my heart fill with joy, we were free!!..

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