We would like to draw attention to the Gems page on the top menu bar. It has some real “gems” on it, yet it is easy for them to be neglected in the busyness of the blog. To help bring them to the surface Jeff and Barbara have decided to publish posts on Thursdays. The Thursday Thought post will contain a “gem” or some other little nugget that you may tuck into your mind and think about.
Today is Thursday so…
Thursday Thought — Is Your Suffering a Result of sin?
What do you say to that person who believes, and wants you to believe, that the trials and difficulties you are experiencing since leaving your abuser is proof that you have sinned and were wrong to leave?
This is what Job said when his friends told him that his suffering was a result of his sin:
I will never affirm that you are right. I will maintain my integrity until I die. I will cling to my righteousness and never let it go. My conscience will not accuse [me] as long as I live!
(Job 27:5-6 HCSB)
A Cry For Justice 
Also, maybe we could add to say to the person bringing that condemning news, “The devil is the accuser and wants me to believe that as well. So, is that him whispering in your ear to bring me that message? Or, are you just confused about the truths of Christ and Who He is?”
I think that one of the greatest gifts we can give to victims of abuse, is the strength, before they leave, to know that their leaving is approved of by God. Of course, God does not force us to leave an abuser, it is our choice, but the choice is there and real and supported by God. It is pure blasphemy, to say that God forces us to uphold and remain in an abusive marriage. Did I just call an abusive relationship, “marriage”? No way–
abusive marriage
Oxymoron.
I have read this gem several times and Job was so wise. He did not give up when those around him would have him curse God and die. We all have trials in this life. We live in a fallen world. Job was a severe case in a battle between God and the evil one. Anyone who says that trials after marriage are because of your sin doesn’t know the Word. We who are in Christ are all going to have trials and everyone will sin. Even if I left my marriage due to my own sin, in asking Christ for forgiveness and repent of that sin, I would be forgiven. I am His. He loves me in spite of myself. After that, I would still have trials and will sin again. If I hadn’t left because of X’s unrepentant sin against me, I would still have trials. Far more than I am having now.
I tell them that if they are concerned that I am sinning they are welcome to pray for me. And then I don’t go near that person again if I can help it.
I would turn around and say that the post-separation trials and abuse that I was experiencing since leaving my abuser was proof that he had sinned and I was right to leave. 🙂
NTL, I could use those exact words, but would never think of them when needed.
My trials and tribulations have increased tremendously, from constant physical illnesses (one after another), to mental and emotional anguish so intense I wonder how I’m going to make it through the next few moments (let alone the next few days, weeks, months…), to having to fight constant feelings of despair and hopelessness. While I am struggling with ‘where is God?’ in this, there is not the slightest niggling in my mind that my suffering is because I’ve separated. I think if someone had the audacity to ask me this, I’d just be so over it all, and exhausted, I’d only be able to shake my head at them.
And I could really use prayers. Living on the razor’s edge is not working for me, and I worry about some kind of breakdown.
Marah – praying for you tonight. That some real encouragement would come your way and that it would be obvious that the Lord sent it.
I am going to pray for you, Marah. Quite often in my own case as well as in others’ cases, I’ve observed that when the victim separates she starts to become aware of her exhausted and despondent feelings, even more aware of them than she may have been when living with the abuser. It’s kind of like — when we are with the abuser we can’t afford to feel those feelings because of all the other demands of walking on eggshells with the abuser. But when we leave, the melancholia and exhaustion can come more to the surface. One baby step at a time, eh? And even if you feel you are not moving forward, I bet you are treading water hard to keep afloat and not go backwards (back to the abuser) so pat yourself on the back even if you feel like you are just treading water in the one spot. 🙂
Marah,
God is with you right now, where you are. He wants you to be dependant on Him. Draw strength from Him. Marah, please don’t give up. As you know, Christians do 2 things to be closer to Him; Pray and stay in the Word. I will pray with you. Lord give Marsh strength and Peace, Your Peace in her decisions. Make her aware of your Loving Kindness and Mercy. Put a hedge around her. Help her to realize that no matter the outcome of her marriage that You will always love her. In Jesus Name I pray. Marah, Jesus Loves You. Do not fear, He will see you through this time in the valley.
Job 27:5-6 … I will have to commit this to memory