We have added a new page to this blog where readers can comment on, discuss, debate the complementarian / egalitarian issue – What Headship and Submission do Not Mean. In other words, what does the Bible mean when it teaches that the husband is the head of the wife and she is to submit to him? And other related issues as well such as the roles of men and women in the church. We have started off the page with some general comments about what we think our primary mission needs to remain focused on. Let me put that mission statement here as well:
Our mission in writing A Cry for Justice [Affiliate link], and in maintaining this blog site, is to expose to the church what is happening to victims of abuse who are sitting right here in our own pews, often side by side with their abuser who is parading as a fine Christian. Our purpose is to do all we can to show pastors and Christians what abuse really is, and point out how the church has been giving terrible counsel to abuse victims. All of this we intend to do to the glory of God, for the help and rescue of victims, and for the effecting of justice upon the abuser.
In order to help us maintain focus on our mission, we decided to set up a separate page dedicated to the comp/egal discussion. This does not mean that it is totally taboo to talk about headship and submission, especially the abuse of this doctrine by abusers, on the blog. Christian victims of abuse very, very often have been given distorted ideas about submission, so this topic directly relates to our mission.
We have suggested that readers who want to jump into this discussion begin by addressing the subject – What biblical headship and submission are NOT. Head on over to the new page by clicking the link at the top of this post, and go for it!
May the Lord enable us to generate light, not heat (well, maybe some real heat for abusers would be fine).
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UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.
A Cry For Justice 
I’ll start off with a tiny little comment so I can click the ‘notify me of follow-up comments’ button 🙂
These days, I get heartburn any time someone mentions the word ‘roles’– as in a man’s role, a woman’s role. These were codewords back in the day (the early 80’s) when I was a young wife and generally went hand-in-glove with the submission teachings. There was a huge push to ‘take back the family’ by ‘restoring biblical manhood/womanhood.’ Personally, I think the emphasis on this area is more of the commandments of men parading as gospel.
We have to make a distinction between personal conviction and biblical mandate. Something may be a conviction–as in, ‘the Lord wants ‘me’ to wear only dresses, stay home with the kids, never work a secular job.’ I think we take these, go have some feelings about them and try to convince everyone else they should do the same. A ton of division arises over things that have nothing to do with anything. God calls us to freedom, not bondage.
Sorry for the heartburn. How about we use the word “place”? Just teasing. Yes, that entire movement of taking back the family was largely, in my opinion, devoid of Scripture. Did you notice that? Dobson is not a theologian. And as the years have gone by, Focus on the Fam evolved largely into a political machine with very weak theology. And how much good has it done? Of course they aren’t the only ones that were involved in that push. I have never really “gotten it.” My wife and I have never sat down with one of those books and said, ok, put this on the refrigerator door so you remember to do your jobs and I will do mine, just like the books say. Let’s see, is it the man or the woman who balances the checkbook?” We just DID and DO it. I am me and she is she and we are a team. For over 40 years now. And all the while whenever I have read “those books” of which you speak, my spirit was rebelling in me. I thought it was just Jeff the sinner. But I really think it was “Jeff, this isn’t you, it isn’t your marriage, so quit listening to these guys.” I’m still married. Some of those “guys” who wrote the books, aren’t. Maybe their wives had just enough of their books too!
My abuser / STBXH said this below …curious what do you all see / interpret? Please have at it!
Lost- these are the statements of a power hungry abuser, and a gross distortion of God’s Word. Don’t believe any of his words.
Thank you for sharing what you see. I won’t! Promise! Never again. Running like the wind and it feels so good to breathe freely again.
Firstly, a word count:
The word ‘authority’ occurs four times.
The word ‘love’ occurs only once and it does not have a prominent place in the sentence.
Secondly, the quality and character of Christ’s love for the church, which the husband ought to use as his model, is totally ignored. Ephesians 5:25-30 —
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [unselfish love]
that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [Abusers do the opposite: they seek to defile their wives, to crush them, to coerce and force them into unholy slavish craven idolatry to the sinful desires of the He Who Must Be Obeyed Husband.]
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. [Abusers never nourish or cherish their wives.]