This site discusses how to manage exchanges with “high conflict people” but it does not consider the degree of high conflict we mostly deal with on this blog. Their advice really isn’t geared toward the difficulties of dealing with the average conscience-deficient evil abuser — evil people who know what they are doing and why they are doing it and whose purpose is control and dominance.
They are mostly about non-abusers who are socially challenged in some way and so become difficult. However, that does not mean what they have to say is not valuable or would not be helpful for some situations our readers may be dealing with. Some of what they say can be helpful for abuse victims, especially the article on responding to emails.
They have a section on high conflict people at work and a ton of stuff on divorce. We are not sure their divorce stuff is all that helpful for domestic abuse situations, though. And one of their suggestions would be contraindicated in dealing with abusers: what they call the E.A.R. method, which is give Empathy (we are already lost right there), Attention, and Respect. Noooooo……
So readers, when you visit this site, just bear these caveats in mind.
Cybercrimes: Battling a New Kind of Home Intruder
Extract from the article: “Cybercrime is on the rise, one of the most rapidly growing areas of prosecuted crime. Hackers may be computer geeks with malicious intent, identity thieves, spies, traders in illegal pornography or businesses attempting to disrupt competitor’s websites. The impact on society can be staggering, ranging from downed systems for vital infrastructure like hospitals or emergency response systems to financial cost. Brand damage is difficult to measure, and the cost to repair and prevent future damage from hackers annually runs into the billions.”
Digital stalking – A guide to technology risks for victims
A PDF guide by Jennifer Perry. The link Women’s Aid – Digital Safety, from which the Jennifer Perry PDF guide is downloaded, contains other digital safety information and PDF downloads.
Increasing security when using technology
Many tips for increasing online security from 1800respect.org.au, depending upon which area of technology and connection you wish to pursue.
Mr. Number – Caller ID & Spam Protection
This is a free app.
From part of the blurb for the app: “Mr. Number is the most powerful call blocker on the market. Block calls from people, businesses, and hidden numbers. Browse comments from other users when you get a spam call. Automatically block potential fraud and suspected spam calls.”
This short YouTube video demonstrates how to block calls and texts on your Android phone.
This online safety checklist is from the Australian eSafetyCommissioner website.
Promoting Safe and Healthy Online Communities
Safety and Privacy on Facebook: A Guide for Survivors of Abuse
SmartSafe: Technology Abuse & Your Safety
These short SmartSafe How-to Videos provide safety tips on how to change some settings on Android phones and iPhones.
The SmartSafe+ mobile app
SmartSafe – Turning geotagging off your photos on an Android phone
SmartSafe – Immediate safety settings for an Android phone
SmartSafe – Turn off location history on an Android phone
SmartSafe -Taking a screenshot for evidence collection on an Android phone
SmartSafe – turning geotagging off your photos on an iPhone
SmartSafe – Turn off frequent locations on an iPhone
SmartSafe – clear your iPhone browser history
SmartSafe – taking a screenshot for evidence collection
SmartSafe – immediate safety settings for an iPhone
SmartSafe – immediate safety settings for an iPhone
Spyware apps used to monitor partners
Exclusive article explaining how the use of spyware apps by abusers are to monitor partners is reaching ‘epidemic proportions’.
TalkingParents is designed to help parents avoid disputes by keeping a complete record of communications. They maintain the record as an independent third party, making sure parents cannot delete or alter anything they have said.
We have not actually used this site ourselves but have examined it pretty carefully including looking at the terms and conditions (the fine print). From our assessment, it looks like it could be a helpful service for some of our readers; but we urge readers to look at the fine print in the Terms of Service for themselves, before they sign up.
One more thing: the site uses the term ‘high conflict divorce,’ a term which is often used in the family court system. We don’t like the term ‘high conflict divorce’ as we believe it is a mutualising euphemism for what actually goes on in domestic abuse: the unilateral abuse by one spouse against the other spouse. However, the site doesn’t seem to use that term often, and the benefits which the site may give to its users probably outweigh the sting of that euphemism.
Technology Safety & Privacy: A Toolkit for Survivors – Technology Safety
The Technology Safety Toolkit link leads to a wealth of information on technology safety information for survivors, including cell phones, connected devices, social media, etc. If you choose one of the Toolkit links, an option to download a PDF version of the information listed is usually provided at the end of that page. The link to the Technology Safety website can also be accessed from near the bottom of The National Network To End Domestic Violence (NNEDV).
By the National Network to End Domestic Violence, Tech Safety has an app which contains information that can help someone identify technology-facilitated harassment, stalking, or abuse and includes tips on what can be done. Available in English and Spanish.
Tips for selecting a strong online password
The Women’s Services Network (WESNET) of Australia
With almost 350 members across Australia, WESNET is a national women’s peak advocacy body which works on behalf of women and child who are experiencing or have experienced domestic or family violence. WESNET represents a range of organizations and individuals including women’s refuge, shelters, safe houses and information / referral services. Below are links to two of their safety planning resources:
Safety Planning: Technology Safety Plan
Safety Planning Booklet
WomensLaw.org — a project of the National Network to end Domestic Violence (NNEDV)
WomensLaw is an extensive website launched to provide legal information and resources for survivors of domestic violence. They also provide several pages of safety tips while using the internet and social media.
Stop Baptist Predators – by Christa Brown, an activist on the issue of clergy sexual abuse in the Southern Baptist Convention.