Abusive men often go to great lengths to win the kids’ loyalty and get the kids to despise their mother. Even though your children think they love this man, they also fear and are repelled by his behaviour. You can see this, even if your children are too young to comprehend it for themselves.
How Domestically Abusive Men Distort Their Children’s Thinking by Dr Emma Katz.
10 Reasons Why a Coercively Controlling Man is an Unfit Father by Dr Emma Katz.
Dr Emma Katz is a globally respected expert on how coercive control harms children and mother-child relationships, and how these harms can be overcome. Her work is based on an understanding that victims and survivors are ordinary people who were unjustly harmed. While recognising the full extent of the harm that abusers cause, Emma’s work values, appreciates and seeks to reinforce victims’ and survivors’ many strengths. Children and young people who have a coercively controlling parent are not just witnesses, they are co-victims and co-survivors. Emma’s book Coercive Control in Children’s and Mothers’ Lives [Affiliate link] sheds light on the impacts of coercive control on children, and how resistance by children and mothers occurs. Emma’s articles and podcasts.
You are the adult. You have the responsibility of making what you believe are the best choices for your children’s future. Sometimes good parents know better than their kids, and such parents have to override the children’s wishes for the children’s long term good.
We always encourage victims to make their own decisions.
Here is an article from The Cedar Network which you will find helpful: Impact of domestic abuse on children.
Here is another article from a family violence support service: Do you feel safe at home? … Do your children?
Some posts from our blog:
How Do I Tell My Children We are leaving Daddy?
The Dog and the Rabbit: Helping children understand domestic abuse
Teaching Children The Ten Commandments of Character
Defiant Boys: one mother’s story of the problems of parenting after domestic abuse
[Page updated July, 2024, September, 2024.]
