A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Domestic Abuse Survey by Prevent Partner Abuse — Invitation to participate

We have been contacted by Lisa Smith of Prevent Partner Abuser organization inviting us to participate in a survey.  Here is what what she says about the survey:

We are conducting this nationwide survey to help us understand how to spot an abusive personality before the abuse begins.  Your results will help us create preventative curriculum for schools and other organization that serve youth and young adults.  Let’s Prevent Partner Abuse!

This is an American survey (i.e. ‘college’ = tertiary education = ‘university’ in other countries). The survey can be taken by anyone male or female who is a victim of partner abuse so long as they are over the age of 18.  The survey takes about 10-15 minutes to complete. They need 2000 responses to make it statistically valid.

Here is a link to the survey [Internet Archive link].  The deadline for completing the survey is Thursday, October 20, 2016.



  1. Lisa Smith

    Thank you everyone for participating!

    • We are very glad to be able to be of help, Lisa. 🙂

  2. Herjourney

    In my personal life with an abuser. The most prominate red flags for abuse awareness:
    No empathy.
    No remorse.
    Winning for their personal gain.
    Isolating their victim from family and friends.
    Isolating with financial control.
    The abuser gets high from inflicting pain in their victims.
    Using family as their pawns.
    Using others to do their dirty deeds, so their hands stay clean.
    Spiritual abuse.
    Difficult survey to answer.
    Triggers are a warning ⚠️ that yes! He really did that.

    • Lisa Smith

      Thank you for your insights and for taking the survey. I know it’s difficult, but it will help so many many people. God bless,

  3. May God Bring Justice

    That is exciting they are putting together preventative curriculum. Hope they share the curriculum on here when they are finished.

  4. E

    Watching a family member go through this, I would add to Herjourney’s very good list, that the victim does not see all of this at once: it is often hidden, and negative, chaotic things can start happening with other relationships in the victim’s life that the abuser seems not to be connected with. Behind-the-scenes triangulation, subtle dividing of loyalties, an insidious sense of “something is not right, but the abusive partner has not really done anything wrong” nebulousness, for example. And of course, the pity play where the abuser plays the victim in circumstances of life.

    There can be a lack of a sense as to what is appropriate behavior, as well as never taking “no” for an answer as a true friend would: the abuser must win and so can try to overcome your every objection with “logic.”

    Thank you for putting this together!

    • Anonymous

      Herjourney and E, Excellent insights! And the added burden of once we figure out how deep the abuse goes and how all-encompassing it is–we are then told that we are imagining it or that we are crazy or that our standards are too high, and that the abuser doesn’t seem THAT bad–is when the real heartache begins.

      And in an abusers case, their “logic” are LIES, so those of us who belong to Jesus who desire and seek truth, are forced to deny reality and accept the lie as truth, or to be truthful when many are telling us we are wrong. I hope we all can see just what kind of POW camp we’ve been in these many years and how the fact that we are still seeking the Lord and still have a loving heart, is a miracle! Thank you!

      • Lisa Smith

        Thank you so much for your comments. I will definitely use them in creating the training.

    • Lisa Smith

      Thank you so much for your insight!

    • anonymous

      Behind-the-scenes triangulation, subtle dividing of loyalties, an insidious sense of “something is not right, but the abusive partner has not really done anything wrong” nebulousness, for example.

      E, this is so true what you have pointed out. Even when we think there is a calm after the storm… after all the volcanoes have erupted, the landmines have blown apart, the deep waters have taken us out to sea and we are still struggling in survival mode, be certain, behind the “calm”, taking place is exactly what you have described. And it will only be a short period of time before this evil scheme the abuser has plotted during the “calm” hours, that we will suffer the consequences thereof. Pure EVIL!!

      • Lisa Smith

        So true–I love the way you describe it. Thank you for participating!

    • Alone

      E, thank you so much for your description! You’ve encapsulated my first couple of years from my marriage, and still similar, even today. Confusion, frustration from not being able to comprehend where the spouse is coming from… the secretiveness, dishonesty, lying, manipulation, and no communication whatsoever, along with the complete absence of sympathy / compassion / empathy, and the sense that something’s not quite right, but hasn’t done anything terribly “wrong”… absolutely crazy-making.

  5. standsfortruth

    Glad to participate in the survey.
    Bringing light to the subject of marital abuse helps the cause of exposure so that the next generation will be better prepared to have its eyes open to the signs.

  6. keeningforthedawn

    Question: is the survey limited to people who have actually been the domestic partner / spouse of an abuser, or is it also intended for adults who grew up in a home with an abuser?

    • Lisa Smith

      Thanks for asking. It is specifically for victims of domestic or intimate partner abuse. Please share the link–we all know victims, although we rarely know who they are.

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