Update added March, 2025. Lundy Bancroft has now been exposed as a predator. The link to Lundy’s post has therefore been removed. [End of March, 2025 update.]
Informational post: “How much should I stand up to him?” is Lundy Bancroft’s latest post on his blog. It’s very good.
[March 8, 2025: Editors’ notes:
—For some comments made prior to March 8, 2025 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to March 8, 2025 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to March 8, 2025 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (March 8, 2025), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]
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Very useful post, thank you!
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Yes, abusers do want pay-back if their victim leaves, and big time, as my abuser has done. I hope that he is getting very tired of my persistence in unwrapping the truth for all to see after many decades of silence in protecting him while he abused me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
I did inform of his violence against me in front of a judge and 2 lawyers recently. That act itself helped to restore my spirit and validated my experience.
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This is a good article. Thank God someone has their head on straight.
I love this:
The answer is that no one has any business telling you what to do, because there are so many factors involved in the decision in each specific situation.
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