Barbara Roberts ♦ 31st August 2019 ♦ 17 Comments
Does Scripture indicate that MEN are more prone to sexual sin than WOMEN? The sexual sins of both sexes are recounted in the Bible. Is God pointing the finger at one sex in particular? For those who are stuck in the sinkhole of sexual immorality, I urge you to read to the bottom of this …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 28th August 2019 ♦ 17 Comments
Australia is not the only place where children are being forced to have contact with abusers by the legal system. Caution: For some readers, some of the linked articles may be triggering. What is the so-called evangelical church doing about any of this? I answer that ^ question at the bottom of this post. I …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 21st August 2019 ♦ 72 Comments
Why didn’t Jesus say abuse is grounds for divorce? Why is there no explicit statement in the Bible that abuse is grounds for divorce and a victim of abuse may remarry after divorcing the abuser? Why didn’t Mosaic Law have an explicit law against wife beating and other types of spousal abuse? Why didn’t God …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 12th August 2019 ♦ 34 Comments
“Blood is thicker than water” is often used to coerce victims of abuse to comply with the sinful beliefs and behaviour patterns within a family system. It is used to intimidate and extract loyalty from a member of the family whose conscience is more active and biblically guided than the rest of the family – …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 7th August 2019 ♦ 2 Comments
Trigger warning. She was tripping along the woodland path, picking flowers. What a beautiful yellow flower! Its warm yellow color reminds me of how God forgives us for our sins, and how we are to forgive others! I’ll pick it for Grandma. And what lovely pink flowers! Look at how they grow in clumps, and …
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The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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