God
stills you
leads you
reassures you
enlightens you
encourages you
comforts you
calms you
convicts you
Satan
rushes you
pushes you
frightens you
confuses you
discourages you
worries you
obsesses you
condemns you
and uses your abusers to do the same!
(by IamMyBeloved’s)
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from our Gems (great quotes) page
***
A Cry For Justice 
I LOVE this. But because of abusive churches, it’s so easy to think the pushing and condemning comes from God. “Never, never enough.” That’s the way of Allah, not Christ.
I experienced these tactics even BEFORE I got married. Red flags were there. The mask my abuser (ordained minister / missionary) wore had SO many people duped (including my home church). I thought surely all these red flags must be in my head because after all, everyone else appears to hold my abuser in such high regard and he’s preaching and teaching here and abroad. It must be me!
It is NOT me; it is the abuser. My pastor will openly say today, conducting the wedding ceremony for me and abuser is one of the deepest pains / regrets of his ministry.
It has been a hard lesson for me, a wake-up call. But I am much wiser today. And my church is on board with me 100%. My ‘case’ and SO many others have awakened this church to domestic violence and the predators / wolves sitting in her pews. Your book, pastor Crippen, is in our church! Perhaps one day we will have the privilege to have you come and speak in our pulpit on this subject!
The thin veneer of righteousness is peeling away from my now ex-abuser…
Super encouraging that your church and your pastor get it! Praying that the light will dawn for many, many others as seeds are planted! I know the change seems slow, but stories like this one really show that something is changing.
Yes, Rebecca, my church and pastor totally get it! Slowly but surely women do come forward and Session believes them, supports them and pursues the abuser holding him accountable according to Matthew 18.
These pastors and elders are duly elected and placed in positions of authority. They hold the keys to the Kingdom of Jesus Christ to uphold the glory of God and the purity of the church. AND it is an act of mercy for the abuser… repentance not punishment is the ultimate goal in excommunication. Without repentance they are put out of the church and considered to be unbelievers. This procedure provides safety for the victim and is a very stern and sobering warning to onlookers, God will NOT be mocked!
Anonymous,
Would your pastor or one of the elders in your church be interested in writing a guest post for our blog? We would be interested to hear their journey of waking up to the issue and the kinds of things they have had to deal with when responding to abusers.
Thank you for this post.
Anonymous – Barb’s invitation to your pastor or elders of the church would be a welcome contribution to the ACFJ blog.
Love this! So very true!
Spiritual Warfare.
Stay the course.
Wait on God.
This is spot on. I remember feeling all of those emotions with my former husband, the ones on the second list. I have a wonderful guy friend now that God has used, and continues in my life. I see the top list in our relationship.
I see a candle!
Thank you for the reminder!
Barbara, yes, I believe I can speak on behalf of my church that they would have interest to write something on your blog. Perhaps we could work out the particulars via email?
Great!
Also, Satan lulls you. Deceives you. Tempts you. In the most cunning, sly ways. He’s had a long, long time to practice his craft and his hatred has no bounds. Peace, joy, life are this way, he says. Did God really say otherwise? Let’s have a discussion about that. There’s no need for you to suffer any deprivation, he says…life doesn’t have to be so hard. You don’t need to suffer, just follow my lead and you’ll have it easy, you won’t be troubled about anything…
Far above all else Satan LIES, and is sometimes blatant but often unbelievably subtle. He is a supernaturally powerful liar, and seemingly inexhaustible. Pretty sure I have done direct verbal battle with demons and I found the depth and breadth of their lies and the facility and stamina with which they do it absolutely breathtaking. I EAGERLY await the day Satan and his minions are cast in the lake of fire forever.
That’s a powerful statement, and I’ve experienced the depth and breadth of his lies too. Didn’t have anything to stand on except truth of who Jesus was to me, for me, in me. Demonic lies finally conquered. Unrelated to abuse, but just as real. And you know, these “lies” are what some people will say the people at ACFJ are disseminating. They claim it’s the siren call of, “Leave your husband so you won’t suffer any more, then. Life is better out there.” (I was reading a critic like this just last night.) Of course these critics are ignoring the fact that the suffering after leaving is often just as bad, often worse in some ways, as Christopher’s story on “Give Her Wings” testifies [Internet Archive link]. People who leave their abusers don’t do it because they’re unwilling to suffer. They do it because they’re unwilling to suffer — and especially to allow their children to suffer — at the hand of someone who has promised before God to love and cherish and help them.
That’s a sidetrack — sorry — but one more way the truth is twisted. In proclaiming that those of us who stand for victims are promoting Satan’s lies, the detractors are often promoting Satan’s lies themselves.
@ Rebecca Davis
Amen.
It’s also why abused women go back to their abuser.
At least the wolf will make himself look like a godly man to the world around him.
It’s one of the most difficult undertakings a survivor will endure.
One a woman who chooses to survive on her own experiences.
And the truth of the gospel.
Will be a force unstoppable.
Jesus is the Truth and Jesus is Lord, therefore we must live in absolute subjection to the truth. To whatever degree we do not do this, we deny Christ. May we never, ever take His name in vain! All — all our relationships, all our possessions, our very lives– we are REQUIRED to forsake, if it becomes necessary, in order to live in total submission to Christ, the Truth. Abusers who will not repent are wicked, therefore God’s holy and chosen people are bound by God to forsake them, for God has said: “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.” Prov 8:13. “Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good.” Romans 12:9. “The fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to depart from evil, that is understanding.” Job 28:28.
As for the detractors, may our sovereign, merciful God Himself rescue those who remain in error due to ignorance. May they genuinely fear God and seek and submit to the truth. Those who reject the truth reject Christ Himself.
Wow how exciting to hear of a church who is completely behind this type of ministry! It is very hope-sapping to see that the majority of Evangelical Christian churches have in fact no clue of how to deal with DA, and worse still, make the problem escalate or collapse the entire marriage and family. I too will be looking forward to this church’s testimony of their journey through these difficulties within their congregation. I’m excited to hear how the leaders decided to use Pastor Crippen’s material, and how they came to the decision of implementing it, and the outcomes.
Very exciting indeed! 😀
NotAlone, it is not my intent to be misleading with comments about my church and their course of action regarding domestic abuse. We are safe and have anonymity here at ACFJ, therefore I am only able to give limited details lest I will be recognized.
I am a very long-time member at my church and have been blessed to serve in many capacities. I have witnessed firsthand the bold position they take to stand tall on the stage of domestic abuse and take head-on and confront and discipline abusers and come alongside victims. Excommunications are soberly announced publicly from the pulpit.
After my own abusive situation, my voice within my church is not only heard and believed (in fact, initially they were suspicious and reached out to me before I broke down to them), Session and pastors are hearing me as I push for even more light to be shed upon this evil lurking in the pews and pulpits in the church. Stories I hear from all of YOU spur me on!! As Barbara would say, “It’s the fire in my bones.”
I have spoken to our senior pastor on how ACFJ has been a lifeline for me and have personally handed him pastor Crippen’s book, A Cry For Justice. And I mailed his book to another pastor in a large congregation who promised to read it (this godly pastor helped me when I was out of state / country with my abuser and had no one else to turn to).
Just last week I asked my senior pastor if he would consider widely addressing church discipline here at ACFJ; he will. Of course these details belong to Pastor Crippen and Barbara but be assured, I am on it!
Very encouraging!
I should have been more clear when I said that I asked my senior pastor to address church discipline here at ACFJ. What I asked is for him to write an article to be posted on this blog.
P.S.: IamMyBeloved’s, comforting and clarifying poem. Thank you for your encouragement!
Thanks for these great comparisons.
And for those of us that have been treated with continual disregard and contempt, I would also add to that poem that “God treasures us.”
Thank you for posting this. I definitely need the clarification.
^Like.
Nothing to add that hasn’t already been written…. 🙂
Was this article ever written? It would be interesting and perhaps very useful for churches here where I live.